Talk to the Police

When I was on a trip with my 6 year old daughter E and 4 year old son C, we went to an indoor playground to meet up with my best friend and his two kids. I’ve been to the playground plenty of times and my kids love going there. It was going to be a good time.

When we got there, it was awesome to see my best friend and the first time I’ve seen him in months. Luckily, we still get to see each other here and there to catch up. Our kids started chatting a bit and they were off. The last time I was there with my kids, they wanted me to go explore and play with them. Secretly, I loved doing it also and it gave me an excuse as an adult to go into the castle, run around outside, and climb all the structures. I wish adults did that more.

I asked my best friend whether he usually just lets his kids run around and he said he does. It was a bit mind blowing because aside from me having fun climbing, it was a way to watch my kids to make sure they were safe (and making good choices!). I did welcome the small break though and it was nice being able to catch up as adults in a conversation.

After playing a while, I noticed a little boy following my kids around. I thought it was innocent fun at first. Just a game of tag or chase. Then I notice my kids stop and talk to the boy. It seemed like they were wanting to be left alone. I let them try to sort it out for a few minutes to see what would happen. The situation actually started to get worse with the boy running up to my kids and getting really close to them without respecting their boundaries.

I call for my kids to come over and ask them about the situation. They mentioned they felt uncomfortable. I also asked them what they said and tried to make sure the boy left them alone. They kept saying they asked nicely, tried to create space, and now were really trying to get away from him. I told them to just hang out with me for a bit and let the boy wander off.

After the boy wandered off, my kids went back to playing, but when a few more minutes passed, the boy found my kids again. We repeated the process where I watched my kids try to handle the situation, situation got worse, then I called my kids over for a break. After the break, they went back to playing and here comes the boy again. I walked over to the boy and just asked him nicely to give my kids some space. I didn’t think anything of it and walked away.

The boy’s mother comes over quickly to me and says I couldn’t talk to her son at all. I had to go talk to the police who would then handle the situation or talk to the parents. I said that’s fine, I would like to talk to the parents. I asked if she was the boy’s mother and she confirmed. Great! I described the scenario to her and she said she didn’t want to hear it. I needed to talk to the police or to the parents.

Now I’m confused. She was the mother, but I couldn’t talk to her about the situation. All I wanted was the boy to leave my kids alone because they felt uncomfortable. When I realized she was angry that I talked to her son to the point of being unhelpful, I ended up just walking away. Turns out, the police (aka just a person standing outside letting people in the playground) came up to me to chat. The boy’s mother apparently gave “the police” and earful and he came over to tell me to not talk to any kids. I told him I wouldn’t and that it would be helpful if he could help keep the boy away from my kids. He said he would watch a bit and that was that.

My kids ended up playing the rest of the time there and had a great time. My time there was mostly good because I got to catch up with my best friend and see his kids, but I’m still left scratching my head about this police situation. If my kids were acting obnoxious to other kids, I would proactively tell them to stop. If a parent talked to them about that kind of behavior, I would say my kids probably deserved it (and it would be fine if it was in a kind manner!). If a parent approached me to talk about my kids, I’d want to hear what happened so I can address it.

This was the first time I was left confused about the situation and it stands out because parents need to parent. Sometimes your kid (or kids) are doing something wrong and it’s time to step in. Instead, the mother pointed the blame on me by citing the rules of the playground while ignoring what caused the issue even after I described what I was trying to solve.

It’s hard having a tough conversation with your kids, but I think parents owe it to themselves and the future version of their kids to teach them about the situation at hand so they can do better. If everyone did more of that, I think the world would be a more understanding place. Parents have a large responsibility to shape their kids and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly.