Two Cute Robots
The other day while brushing my 6 year old daughter E and 5 year old son C’s teeth, C was in the middle of drawing unicorns. He had a book that I bought E a long time ago that had step by step instructions on how to draw unicorns. After a few minutes, he wanted to show me his artwork and it was pretty awesome. That’s when E decided to chime in and say that C was better than her at drawing unicorns now.
My kids are generally getting more and more competitive. They love to see who is better at certain things and it is coming out a lot at home. They used to hate competing and would sometimes cry during soccer when they had to play and scrimmage against other kids (and lose at times). Now they almost crave competition and see it in many activities. I don’t want them to grow up thinking that they have to compete against each other for things - like love, attention, etc. I want them to grow up as best friends and show my 1 year old son L how to do the same. I started to explain that art is open to interpretation and that everyone has their own opinion of it. Art is different from different people (and that is true!). When we have our own style of art, it makes things interesting and it turns out that different people will also like different art.
I also reminded E and C that the only thing they should compare themselves to was their old self. They need to remember to ask whether they were better than they were yesterday, last week, last month, or last year. They should always compete against their old self and that is the benchmark. It doesn’t matter if you win or lose because sometimes you can play a game the wrong way and still win depending on who you are playing against (which teaches you nothing). You can also play perfectly to the best of your ability and lose the game also. In the latter example, the result was a loss, but you played much better compared to yourself in the former example.
I reminded them that last year, they hated scrimmaging and it affected their soccer persistence. Now, they love competing and they try really hard to get to the ball, play defense, and score goals. It is a new and better version of themselves (compared to where they were a year ago). That is the standard.
E agreed after I was done brushing her teeth. After spitting out her toothpaste, she turned around and told me that I was programming two cute robots (her and her brother!). It made me smile and I told her she was right! That is what I am doing and my most important job!
