Tetherball Saga

Tetherball is one of the most important things that my 7 year old daughter E does at school. I knew she liked playing it since she asked me to get one so she could play in the summer. I had no idea she had a whole crew that plays almost every day at recess…until one of the staff members at the school took it away.

The staff member told E that they were not allowed to use the tetherball at recess anymore. There wasn’t a good reason other than it was not an activity that the kids should be doing. E came home and was distraught. She told me what happened and was crying over it. I asked if she presented her case calmly to the staff member and asked how they usually played. If they were unsafe or got too rowdy, then I could see that as a reason why the tetherball needed to be taken away. E said they did none of that, but even if the truth was somewhere between two extreme points, a few warnings from the staff should be given first.

After I got E to calm down, I talked to her about how to take action so you can actually do something to fix the situation. When people feel helpless and just get too deep into their feelings, they don’t do enough to fix the situation. Plus, planning how to fix the situation will help improve how she is feeling (even if it is only a slight improvement). To my surprise, E entertained my idea and asked what she should do.

I told her that she should think about what she wanted to say to the principal and present her case. I suggested that she put it in a letter so that she could hand it over when the opportunity presented itself. E was obsessed about the how she would give the letter to the principal. She kept saying there was no way to get the letter to the right place and it was hard to do that. She was spiraling a bit, so I let that part go. We then worked out the content and left the channel of communication open for another brainstorming session later on. Luckily, this all made E feel better.

A few days later, E apparently went to the principal when he visited their class randomly and spoke her case out loud to the whole class as well. The principal heard the full story on how they were being safe, it is a bonding moment for their class, it’s good exercise, and all of the points. There was an agreement to talk to the staff member to reinstate tetherball. E was ecstatic and came home beaming.

I was excited for her and happy that she had the courage and leadership to talk to the principal when she saw an opportunity. The class backed her up, which also helped. Unfortunately, a few days later, the staff member did not allow tetherball at recess. E was not to be deterred and went to talk to the principal again. After another round of conversations, tetherball came back to recess.

This whole saga lasted a few weeks, but I’m so proud that E was so persistent. I am also proud that she took action and actually listened to my advice. It is such a great feeling when I can teach my kids something and it leads to the right outcome. Hopefully there will be more opportunities for them to listen and implement the advice, but with less drama since tetherball is a really big deal!