Big Big Big Feelings

My 6 year old daughter E always had big feelings. I just didn’t know she could get big big big feelings. Something changed when she started 1st grade and maybe between the new class, the changes around her, and her growing up, here were the huge reactions. They are certainly fun (that is sarcasm).

Frequently nowadays, when E doesn’t get enough sleep or if things don’t go her way, there is an explosion. Everything is a fight or a huge reaction. Things are difficult and contentious. I can’t say I am built for this, but I am trying to weather this emotional storm.

I have started to try and reinforce the fact that it is her choice to react how she chooses. She should identify the feeling and then let the emotions run its course. What I didn’t want her to do is lose control of her body and her reactions. She can feel her feelings, but she needs to be in control. It is a hard lesson for E and I know she is trying. I try to give her perspective also and say that life will keep giving her these lessons until she learns how to deal with it. Her big reactions and the subsequent consequences were something that needed to be reined in. It was up to her, and only her, to be able to do it.

We are starting to make some progress in certain moments where she asks for some alone time to calm down. I like the fact that she is recognizing that her alone time helps. I also tell her to take action because if she is sad about something, she can start doing something about it (or doing something productive to get her mind off of what was bothering her). It works in spurts where if she goes to her acrobatics class or on a walk, she can clear her mind. I know E will slowly figure out what works for her and this is just a phase. I just didn’t know there was such a thing as terrible 6 7s!